Looking Back at My 2019 for 2019 List

Inspired by the podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, I made a list of 19 things I wanted to do in 2019. Here’s a report of how it went.

1. Read or listen to at least one book per month. – I met and surpassed this goal!

It turned out that many of the books I read this year were about pregnancy and parenting. Those included:

• Cribsheet by Emily Oster
• Expecting Better by Emily Oster
• Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman
• The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp
• The Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel
• Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect by Magda Gerber and Joan Weaver

I also read:

• Becoming by Michelle Obama
• Educated by Tara Westover
• The Very Worst Missionary: A Memoir or Whatever by Jaime Wright
• Miracles and Other Reasonable Things by Sarah Bessey
• Inspired by Rachel Held Evans
• Making Sense of the Bible by Adam Hamilton
• The Greatest Love Story Ever Told by Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman
• Almost Everything by Anne Lamott
• Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott

2. Go camping three times. – I only went camping once, mostly because I was pregnant and sleeping on the ground wasn’t very appealing past a certain point. It was quite the adventure!

3. Have a sewing day with a friend. – I helped a friend make utensil cases like this:

4. Reflect on my “why” for my new job and create a visual for it. – I journaled about my “why” extensively but did not create a visual for it.

5. Go to a modern art museum. – I went to many! I visited the National Gallery of Art’s contemporary wing multiple times, the modern art section of the National Portrait Gallery, and the Hirshhorn Museum.

6. Visit the African American History Museum. – Done! Very moving and challenging museum.

7. Have lunch with my former co-workers at least three times. – Done! I’m glad I did this, it felt good to stay connected with them.

8. Visit the Hillwood Estate. – Didn’t do this one. I’m going to move it to my list for 2020.

9. Bike along the Chesapeake & Ohio canal. – Didn’t do this one 😦 I did walk along the canal a few times, though.

10. Visit the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens during peak bloom. – Didn’t do this one.

11. Go to a music festival this summer. – I went to Adams Morgan Porchfest in the Fall!

12. Create visuals for learnings from Spring and Fall 2018 Core Groups. – This was very aspirational and I gave up on doing it.

13. Make pizza the Neapolitan way. – Did this several times! Turned out well.

14. Host pasta night. – Nope. Moving this to 2020.

15. Spend a weekend in NYC. – Nope. Moving this to 2020.

16. Go to Flag Ponds Nature Park. – Did this! Very cool place.

17. Create a display for my rock collection and other treasures. – Did this and blogged about it here.

18. Find an exercise video on YouTube that I really like. – Nope, moving this to my 2020 list.

19. Go to at least one event at The Potter’s House. – I was interested in a few events but didn’t get around to attending.

A Christmas with No Presents

It’s not because I dislike gift-giving, the problem is that I like it too much. In previous years, I went a little crazy with Christmas shopping. As soon as Halloween came and went I found myself meandering through stores on my way home from work and scrolling for sales on my phone in search of the perfect gift for each member of my family. Gifts are an important way Brunos express love to each other. We are NOT a gift card family and don’t give extravagant gifts: they must be thoughtful, useful, and meaningful.

On Christmas morning, I got an intense high from watching my parents, sister and husband unwrap the gifts I selected for them, even more than the enjoyment of opening my own gifts. But after the wrapping paper was stuffed into a trash bag and the unwrapped gifts were neatly stacked under the tree to be admired, I reflected on what the season had been about for me.

My mind had been on shopping for gifts, baking cookies, and what I was going to wear to holiday parties. The Christmas season demands a lot of a person whether they celebrate the holiday for its relgious meaning or not. These things are all a lot of fun, and some of my most magical childhood memories involve non-religious Christmas traditions. But, the truth is that I do celebrate the Christian Christmas story–that God took on flesh and dwelt among us.

I used to think that Easter was the bigger Christian holiday, but my husband pointed out to me years ago that Christmas was an even more significant development in the relationship between God and man. After centuries of separation–of worshiping through a veil, making sacrifices for sin year after year, and obeying tedious laws–Jesus took on every aspect of humanity and turned all of that on its head. Far from the piety that had come to be associated with Judaism, he lived humbly among his people, healing untouchables, feeding multitudes of peasants, and washing his disciples’ feet.

I used to think of Jesus as a disciplinarian, much like Santa, watching my every move. He was the voice of guilt inside of me when I did something wrong and reminded me of things I ought to have done. But now,  I see him as the embodiment of love itself. So for me, Christmas is even more than the hallmark version of it. It’s more than a special time with loved ones, it’s a time to reflect on the mystery of God becoming man and showing us what peace on earth could look like. So how should we celebrate that? I appreciate Mark Sandlin’s “Ten Things You Can’t Do At Christmas While Following Jesus,” which includes “celebrate consumeristmas” and “confuse the religious observance with the secular holiday.” So counter-American-cultural are his points that it’s a challenging list.

What does gift-giving have to do with Jesus anyway? Despite how much I enjoy the process of gift-giving, I have long been critical of this aspect of the season. This became even more acute when my husband and I welcomed a son into our 700-square-foot one-bedroom apartment this summer. We did not have room for anything we did not truly need. And the joy of getting to know our child genuinely displaced my desire for anything but quality time with him and other loved ones.

Additionally, my mother instilled in me an awareness of wastefulness, as the climate crisis deepens I feel the weight of every thing I own but am not using. The plastic, the fuel that brought it to my doorstep, the labor that went into to it — they all scream at me now. And despite our thoughtfulness, the reality is that gifts often go unused and wasted. I wanted to be free of that guilt.

So this year, I asked my husband if we could forgo all gifts. After talking through it a bit, he agreed. We donated most of the money we would have spent on Christmas presents to causes we care about: justice at the border, climate change, homelessness, and our local Children’s Hospital. With the rest of the money, we purchased a robot vacuum that will save us from a chore that often results in consternation in our household.

We planned a summer vacation as a gift to each other with one side of our family. With the other, we researched activities to do together while we visited for Christmas.

And instead of shopping, I’m writing. I planned to read an Advent devotional every day, but had already fallen behind by December 3rd. As the unread devotionals piled up in my inbox, I realized that my mind needed something other than more content to consume. I know the biblical Christmas story by heart. And each year I’ve consumed others’ reflections on the meaning of the story. Instead of more of that, I resolved to quiet my own heart and truly reflect on what it means to me in this season of my life. I did it for myself, but I also did it for my infant son. If parenting is all about leading by example, and I want to be organized and collected about what I think about these important things before he starts asking the inevitable million whys of early childhood.

This morning, I watched my son play on the floor a few feet away from our Christmas tree. He stopped every now and then to dazzle at the twinkling lights. In childhood, I want him to experience the magic of Christmas in full. But as he matures, I want him to be able to disentangle the American cultural parts of it from the East Coast wintertime parts of it and the “Emmanuel, God is with us” parts of it. Someday he’ll watch his children playing by the Christmas tree and realize that this is all he needs.

Your Peace Will Make Us One

Singer/songwriter Audrey Assad penned these lyrics during a writers retreat in early 2019:

“This came to me today while we were praying at Porter’s Gate. I wept quietly as the words came and I have cried every time I’ve re-read it. A peace hymn to a war tune. Yes, yes, yes.”

Here’s the stunning recording with lyrics below:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
You are speaking truth to power, You are laying down our swords
Replanting every vineyard ’til a brand new wine is poured
Your peace will make us one

I’ve seen You in our home fires burning with a quiet light
You are mothering and feeding in the wee hours of the night
Your gentle love is patient, You will never fade or tire
Your peace will make us one

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Your peace will make us one

In the beauty of the lilies, You were born across the sea
With a glory in Your bosom that is still transfiguring
Dismantling our empires ’til each one of us is free
Your peace will make us one